My Blog

AJ got me a Birthday gift and I'm having some pretty wild guesses here.  I'm not kidding I do have some pretty wild guesses. One guess I thought it was an essential oil set. He said no, but he thought about that one.  The second wild guess is a sunflower ring on walmart.com.  I saw another sunflower ring with the words "I am enough" on it.  I want that one.  I think I will get that as a Valentine's Day present to myself instead of Chocolate this year!  Then he mentioned that would give my mom a panic attack.  What did he buy for me?  A promise ring? An Engagement ring?  Okay, I was kidding!  LOL!   Oh, that is something I will have a panic attack over.  I don't want to let him go.  I don't want to lose him.  We have been through too much and I love him too much to let him go.  I don't care what my mom and dad say!!!  I want AJ!  AJ calms me down after an anxiety attack and he told me that I calm hi...

I just wanted to say what my new year's resolution will be.  It is to eat better, according to make my pms symptoms better.   Lots of omega 3's in foods. Well some of those foods are 0 points.   My other New Year's Resolution is for world peace and kindness and kindness to animals.  

Did he say he was moving back to Kansas or moving to Houston in the spring?  How is he going to get to Houston?  I am almost afraid to ask AJ.  I am afraid that he will get mad at me for asking.  Just like the others I have tried to ask and they literally got mad at me for asking so I stopped asking.  So there is that anxiety that went to.  And no it's not like I was never taught.  My parents tried to teach me but I would not listen.  I just went on and did my own thing.  This is probably why they are probably controlling now?  Yeah?  Or no?  

I have a question.  If I were able to live on my own, would I be able to have someone spend the night?  Not that they would spend the night.  If they did spend night with me or even moved in with me, not that they would even want to.  I am a messy woman.  Actually, I am bad at cleaning the bathroom but I'm good at cleaning the kitchen, living room and my room.  But that is besides the point.......  Okay, what would you do if you found someone there that had moved in with me.  Oh no not Jason but someone else.  

Falling on my Face Written by: Pamela A. Wyatt This is a poem more like a song than a poem. written on: December 19, 2021 Edited on: December 30, 2021 I want a chance to live in an apartment or house, To be on my own. Too fall on my face. I want a chance to struggle a little bit. Too be on my own. Too fall on my face. Too have a good time. And not try to punish myself with self-harm For thinking it is my fault, For what someone else did. Yeah, I want a chance  To struggle a little bit. be on my own,  fall on my face, have a good time. And not to punish myself with self-harm.

How I feel? Written by: Pamela A. Wyatt How I feel about you, I want you to know that I love your eyes, I love your personality.     I love the way you are patient with me and the way you talk to me. I am always thinking about him, I can’t sleep, But when I fall asleep, I end up dreaming something good. How I feel about you,  I want to know, Like what are you thinking What are you planning? What are your motives? I want to know, I want to know you.

My feelings Written by: Pamela A. Wyatt In my most vulnerable moments of self-doubt, all of my thoughts went south. I have fears and feelings too, And I am afraid that I might lose him too. I want to say what I feel, And I want this to be real. In my most moments of self doubt, I want to be like other people. But I know if I work, I will lose that precious social security. In my moments of self doubt, I want to be able to stand up for myself, In my most vulnerable states of mind, I probably will not say or be unkind.