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I wonder if Jason giving me the challenge to speak counts as me giving myself a reward for speaking. Okay I'm giving myself a reward for that. 

Thursday April 29, 2021,   I got out of surgery at 11am on Thursday.  I had a really good dream but I forgot the dream as soon as I woke up from surgery.  When I woke up, I was craving a glass of really cold water.  Before I fell asleep before the surgery I was watching the blood pressure monitor and my blood pressure was kind of high.  But that was do to the anxiety level. Before the surgery, my anxiety level was about 10.  I took deep breaths and my blood pressure went down again.   Now I am craving two big apple fritters after I saw that one downstairs.  Friday April 30, 2021,    I earned my reward from yesterday.  That rice cooker at weight watchers.  What I'm thinking is that I cook the rice in portions.  If not, I have something else as a reward in mind.      This reward: https://www.ashtondrake.com/products/302966001_ping-lau-so-truly-real-mommys-girl-vinyl-baby-doll.html?cm_ite=3029660...

I think I shocked myself when I was speaking to the nurse at dr Powell's office.  I think I need myself a treat.  But no awarding myself with food!  I went to the ER and I have a kidney stone and gall stones rolling around inside me. Then on top of all of that "my friend came to visit".  Then I get the colonoscopy and I may need to have a procedure for my gall bladder. (New year's eve, attack)  My mind is being overactive if that is the word.  Like what if snip, snip goes the wrong thing or they cut into my back and I'm paralyzed for life. 😥😥😥    Why does everything have to happen at once?  😟😟😟  I was so anxious before the dr appointment about this colonoscopy.  Is it weird to have anxiety about eating food when you don't know what caused the kidney stone?    But I think I may have pulled a muscle when I was exercising with Pahla B Fitness on YouTube.  👀                ...

What is it called when I am afraid to eat foods and or drinks that cause kidney stones?     

Jason making up reasons why I got kidney stones.  His reasons were stupid and making me upset!  He said the reason why I got kidney stones was unreasonable!  It was because my body's kidneys and all it's little organs were small and I have a 5'3" tall body and they could not handle me being overweight.  If that is the real reason then I'll believe someone else who says that NOT JASON!  Jason also kept telling me that if you get kidney stones or gall stones you have them forever and they are rolling around in you forever.  He said that I have to stop eating that food or drink forever! So I guess I was diagnosed with gall stones and kidney stones?   I guess I do have to stay away from whatever food created that forever.  I guess the only thing that is safe for me to drink is WATER.    I never got any of the common symptoms of kidney stones.  The only symptom I got later was nausea.          

 Friday night I went to the ER for cramps in my lower right side of my abdominals.  At first I thought it was an appendix. But as it turned out I had very small kidney stones as they said I had blood in my urine. Then I felt the need to mention that my friend came to visit and she brought me also horrendous lower stomach cramps.  So it was a double whammy.  :'(  If you think just period cramps are bad, try having kidney stones and period cramps!  Not a fun thing!  Also I had an anxiety attack about getting admitted into the hospital for lower abdominal cramps in the right side of my abdominals.  In the end, I think the pizza triggered the kidney stone.  I had a bad pms week and ended the week with a kidney stone and on my monthly.    Now I just have bad period cramps while on my monthly.   Pain for period cramps now: 0 Pain for kidney stones at the moment: 0 Of course, my blood pressure went up when I had an anxiety attack...