My Blog

I guess if I were to rate the anxiety and depression from about 1 to 10.  Ten being the absolute worst and one being not at all.  I would say the anxiety is at a 10.  Well if the anxiety is at a ten then I feel like I can't do anything so the depression is at least a um.... I would say at least a 7.    

I have gained nothing but concentration and focus a little bit. I lost anger from practicing meditation. Meditation is great for your mental health! Pamela Ann Wyatt I still have anxiety, because after all Selective Mutism is an anxiety disorder! I still have depression and insecurity and fear of old age and death.  Like  ·  Reply  ·  1m Active Pamela Ann Wyatt Every now and then, like last night I started thinking about death and old age and that I only get one chance to make life great and I blew it all up into pieces with getting the Selective Mutism bug.  That fear of death and old age at age 3 was the worst of it.   I don't know who told me or maybe I over heard it. (shut up jason, you were not there and don't tell me what I was feeling and how selective mutism is) Just shut up  Jason !     That was how I was feeling at the age of three and even now I guess. Probably how I developed Selective Mutism in the first place wa...

I want to do more, but I don't know where to start.  For starters, I want to do for myself.  I don't want anyone laughing at me as I say what I want to do and it will come out stupid so I will just shut the hell up. :'(  :'(  :'(   

I had some type of anxiety/panic attack this morning. Actually, I don't know what it was.  I know I had the symptom that I couldn't breathe.  Any other symptoms?  No.  Just the can't breathe symptom.    

I believe that I'm getting better with speaking to people.  There is these challenges that this lady who wrote this book, (i forgot the name of it)  I put it up because I didn't want Sophie getting into it and tearing it up.  It is in my nightstand.   This is me dealing with Selective Mutism myself and I want to get a Selective Mutism specialist to help me overcome Selective Mutism better.  How do I do that?  

I have never been able to express my thoughts, feelings, and emotions.  My mother may know some of the ways I never expressed my thoughts, feelings, and emotions from age 5 and below that age.  I know I paid attention from when I was 5 and or older.   And I read on an Autism site that the symptoms of autism are the inability to express thoughts, feeling,s and emotions.  But one's thoughts are supposed to be private huh?  No one is supposed to tell anyone their own thoughts huh?  Sh*t! Where did I hear that?  ugh!!!!  So one of the symptoms of autism is the inability to express thoughts, feelings, and emotions?  Correct?  Why am I talking about age 5 and below that age?  The past is the past.  but I was paying attention, sometimes autism in children can be missed and show up later in life as an adult?  I don't know.  😖😖😖   Everyone doesn't remember the time when they were 5 and below that age as the m...

I feel that I'm struggling with Selective Mutism. I know what I want to say but I can't make the words come out not even on paper or on a computer screen. Not funny.  :'(  I can't even speak to those who I can speak to like the trusted person.  I guess I meant that I can't express my feelings to someone or even someone that I can speak to.