My Blog

Does this sound weird?  Keeping the dogs calm is helping me be calm. In other words, when i calm the dogs; they are keeping me calm. 😊😊😊 Sophie is a young dog but not a puppy. Jordan is 10 years and Sophie tries to get Jordan to play.  Jordan does follow Sophie around the backyard and pees on her pee and vice-versa. LOL! Sophie is too funny trying to get Jordan to play.   The cat, I finally decided on naming her Lucky. But just probably just call her babygirl as a nickname. Lucky is just a name at the vet's office. Well Lucky is Lucky that she didn't freeze to death through the ice storm and the snow. 

Jason read on a Covid-19 Vaccine website that the vaccine might create breast cancer.  Do you know who you said that do, Jason?  I could have health anxiety.  :'(  Do I?   If I eat too much protein, will I get fat?   What will happen if I eat too much protein?  Those are the type of questions that I ask google mini. Jason says If I eat too much protein will get fat.  I don't need any more protein as I am overweight as it is. :'(  I don't want to get fatter if I eat protein.  But If I consume no protein at all, I will lose muscle mass. It will be just fine for Jason. If I gain muscle, I will beat the shit out of Jason and could put him into the hospital.  Jason does not want that to happen.     I think that people lost all confidence in me.  I had SM just about all my life and I'm 47. 

Is he just trying to trigger me on purpose?!  Last night Jason triggered me so bad that I had a nightmare that he had high blood pressure! OMG! it is true.  He does have high blood pressure.  He was asking google mini all these questions that he should be consulting his doctor over not asking google mini.  Well, he can ask Google mini but he needs to also ask his doctor to confirm it.  

I woke up screaming. I think everyone would wake up screaming if they dreamed about Jason.  I dreamed that jason was running around chasing me and beating the crap out of me. 😢😢😢   I keep dreaming that Jason was asking google mini for medical advice about his now high blood pressure. And I dreamed he killed some women not me but just some women standing in the apartment complex he lives in.  I dreamed Jason jumped on a women's head. 😢😢😢

Any particular reason why we scream during a dream? That is what I asked google mini. I don't kick in my sleep often but sometimes. Maybe I was going into REM sleep or something. Whatever the cause of it, it scares the crap out of me!!! You only go into REM sleep if you are dreaming or something. That really scares me going into REM sleep when I am dreaming because then I try to wake myself up by screaming! I swear to god that I heard myself screaming. It wasn't a dream that I screamed in my dream! I really tried to wake myself up by screaming! Even Jason heard me one night waking myself up screaming. I swear to god that I literally try to wake myself up screaming. Well since I can't move when I am dreaming or asleep. It's the only thing I can do. Sometimes I can't even scream when I am asleep or dreaming.

Is it normal to have anxiety for no apparent reason?  or is it just my being overweight that is making it hard to breathe?  or it could be anxiety making it hard to breathe?  I'm just trying to figure out all this hard to breathe?  Well it does feel like my nose is clogged but when I try to blow my nose, nothing comes out.  This is why I am thinking it could be anxiety.  *shrugs*     

Got the oxcarbazepine after the first winter storm. There is another round of this shit tonight on Thursday. Ugh!