Sunday March 22, 2026 | Journaling Prompt | Journaling what is on my mind

When I watch NKOTB or Boston Blue a show that Donnie Wahlberg is on, also a member of NKOTB.  I also feel most content when I am journaling.  I have been journaling since September 2012 as that is when the anxiety attacks started happening.  It really started in July 2012.  You wanna know something else... People said I looked angry when really I think that it was anxiety attacks.  Anger can look like anxiety attacks.  I just had to go with what people said I had and that was anger until I had more information on selective mutism.  

Tell me if this is true.  I believe that we are responsible for our own happiness but when it comes to our safety, other people have to step up.  This is when a person was little or I mean when they were three and they were responsible for their own happiness and their parents had to step up when it came down to their safety.  

What would people say when I ask "who am I?"  I don't know who I am.  I have been told so many times by many people of who I am that I just don't know anymore.  No Jason did not tell me this.  I did not know Jason V back in the 80s.  Well I did know a Jason back in the 80s but it wasn't Jason V.   Who was he to me-- about Jason who had went to marshall middle school?  Well I would like to say that I was dating him but that is not right.  He was just a guy that I sat next to on the bus going home.  

Having selective mutism does make us more naive and gullible because we have to listen to other people as they talk.  People who have SM are not assertive at all.  People who have selective mutism, they are all different with different experiences.  People say that I am naive and gullible just because I listen to whatever they say and believe them.  Jason has me convinced that I am naive and gullible.  He told me not to take anything to heart what he says.  Tell me if this is true, Does anyone who has/ or had selective mutism believe anything what people tell them?  

How comfortable do you feel about expressing your needs to others?  

Not comfortable--and people tell me that I can't do anything for myself just because I am unable to speak.  No, people will laugh when I say what my needs are.  Then there is something called "immature" or "childish" that some people call me.  Is "childish" behaviors a symptom of autism?  I don't think Jason and his mother-Doni know what the h*ll they are talking about?  Jason's mother-Doni has ADHD and Jason is also ADHD.  That explains a lot!  

Written down below is personal boundaries.  Not sure if this is the right thing. When I get back from a store H E B is the most crowded.  I have to step to the side and reset my nervous system by finding a quiet space and do deep breathing or mindful movement has this meditation called yoga nidra.  Like today I laid back in my recliner and set a timer for at least 41 minutes as the meditation was about 41 minutes.  I listened until I fell asleep then my subconscious mind took over and listened.  I guess that is how the mind works.  I don't know, I'm not sure how the mind works.