Wednesday June 28, 2023 | I am not what I think: Reflect on your thoughts after you meditate today.

I think my little thing of reading affirmations or positive quotes on Pinterest is finally paying off.  But I'm attracting something else and my parents are going to think "gullible and naive".  no, we are just friends.  if he wants to do anything more he will have to make the first move. But sometimes the first move with a guy always appears to be asking for money?  yeah.  As I said, I am incompetent with low self-esteem and low self-confidence.  

Furthermore, I am naive and gullible!  Why do people think that I am naive and gullible?  Perhaps they think that I am naive and gullible because people think that maybe other people are bad and are scammers and they use other people to get what they want?  So if they ask for money or I'll wind up dead.  What if I go with someone online and they end up being an asshole or even a scammer or even worse a killer?  I know this is the anxiety talking and the anxiety will get me in trouble with my parents.  You know what my problem is that I can't go anywhere by myself.  I need to have someone else go with me on a plane or something.  I'm just saying this is what I have been told but..... I think this is all out of whack.  All I want is a friend to talk to online and I don't know what I am saying because it is 11:11pm.  But what I do know is that I have selective mutism and auditory processing disorder and people with selective mutism know right from wrong.  There was a reason I manifested selective mutism.  It was to know the difference between right and wrong.  Apparently, I never learned that!  I keep doing things that keep threatening my safety.  I don't know, that is just my anxiety that keeps talking.  I guess I learned to listen to the anxiety instead of listening to the heart.  Always listen to the anxiety and never ever listen to the heart.  Anxiety keeps you from getting into trouble.  You're heart always put you into trouble.     I guess because Jason says I am starving for attention.  He says I crave attention.  He says I want attention.