Monday June 19, 2023 | Three diagnosis

I have three official diagnoses which are selective mutism, auditory processing difficulties, and Panic Disorder.  I know that I have something else wrong with me.  I just can't say it because I will get in trouble for saying what I have.  

Having outbursts is from what other people have told me.   And no one even knows this but I stumble over my words when speak.  Do I stumble over my words and then get mad for saying the wrong thing?  Actually, I think I do that in private when I make videos or do self-talk.  FYI: my self-talk is not always positive. 

So I will just say the symptoms.  I made a screenshot of my Pamela's SM Journey page.   Here it is. 

It figures I would leave something out. Even in meditation I move around and wiggle tap my hands and feet. Even in Jr high my teacher told me I was tapping my pencil or pen and it annoyed the teachers plus the other students in my English class. 

I remember one time a student from Vincent Jr high got shot because I saw blood on the floor. I thought someone started period and had to go the office to get a pad or even go home and change. It wasn't until moments later it was all over the news. He was student named Eric Banks and he was black. I didn't even want to know what happened back then. It probably wasn't my business. 

Then there are times when I get chatty feeling and start talking someone's ear off. Is that normal for someone living with selective mutism? They can't for life of them can't speak in certain social situations or to certain people.  But there are times when we go wild start talking someone's ear off. And we speak normal. It figures I would leave something else out. I guess those are my challenges; plus symptoms in the picture below. 

*not being able balance a checkbook.

I vaguely remember watching a movie that Tracey Gold was in called "sleep baby sleep". But Tracy gold played someone with either add or adhd--- I can't remember. And they said that add people or even adhd people can't balance their own checkbook. Their may be some truth to that. It is not that can't it is that my mom is not patient enough to teach me. And yes I believe that I do have add or more of the hd part. Gees I even move in my sleep. I swear!