Wednesday, January 4, 2023 | goals

Anyone who reads this blog and laughs about it, I will deck you in the nose!  lol! This blog wasn't meant to be laughed at when I write it. People have laughed at my writing or if and I do mean if I talked out my needs I felt I got laughed at. :'(    I need to find some goals to work towards. I need to speak to other people besides my comfort people.  I have actually 4 comfort people.  But not so sure about that 3 third one. Well I can still talk to them but not so sure that they can talk me anymore.  But yeah, I want to be able to speak other people besides those comfort people that I can speak to. The fouth one everyone in my family would have a cow about is James because he is bl--- I mean african american is the correct term I should say and he is about my mom and dad's age. 

Yeah, I should think of some more goals do I?  Another one is learning how to driving a car and getting an apartment. But learning how to drive goal is driving that anxiety through the roof. The medication I'm on right now is preventing me from learning how to drive. The medication is Oxcarbazepine.  Another goal would be volunteering somewhere where I love to do or what I believe in.  I believe in being nice and sweet to all animals, cats and dogs but I pick them up all the time trying to calm my anxiety down and it irritates the sh*t out of the cat and my dog she is just a completely different dog than Jordan-the chihuahua was. But Nicki is sweet and cute too. If I want to pick up an animal to calm my anxiety, I would pick up Happy or Nicki. I would have to grab them up.  Sometimes I would even ask them if I could pet them or hold them. Alot of the times Happy (cat) would give me attitude.  Ugh! Cats give anyone attitude and dogs well that is a different story. Sophie my parents dog loves to be petted all the time!  Nicki not so much, depends on her mood--she's a shy dog. Not like Jordan--chihuahua was.  Another goal would be to volunteering at an animal shelter would be perfect!  

I feel like I need to think of more goals to achieve but can't think of anymore right now.    

Remember, 50th birthday I get to go on another cruise to panama canal or I can't remember what It's called.  And at my 50th birthday party I want a BIG PARTY and everyone who has ever known me is invited.  For my birthday party I want boiled shrimp and not to mention a carrot cake.  But what goes with that?  Help me out here.  

I have been given another goal idea. It is to walk to the park.  I would love to buy my first house but... yeah but I don't have enough money for that. I just can't spend that kind of money on something like that. I make too much.  One good goal would be to become a better listener and find a life partner if my mom and dad and the courts will allow it. 

And If I somehow overcome selective mutism a little bit, I could throw another party and that would be called "Pamela overcomes selective mutism" party. The party that my sister was talking about way back in the 80's.  

So, what goals can I have?