Wednesday May 11, 2022 | screw this.

-
Does anyone else know how to tell a story without leaving stuff out? I don't know how to tell a story. Then I leave things out and people wonder what the hell I'm talking about because they don't know the whole story.  Maybe that is why he dumbed me because I do not know how to tell a story and I leave stuff out and he wonders what the hell I'm talking about. It's not that I do not know how it is because I was never taught. Or not that was ever taught. I was taught everything--at least they tried to teach me everything they knew.  I would not listen. I just kept on doing my own things and not listening to everyone else.  I wish I had listened back when I was young and not listening to what other people say to me now. because I would know how to do all these things. Like talk without leaving things out.  I think that is part of either selective mutism or autism.  I really think that I have autism but a mild form of it.  I really think that I have high-functioning autism because I have found everything challenging and I struggle at times!!!  What do you think?  I guess it doesn't really mean anything. It just means that I need to work harder than everyone else really.  Yeah, I do really think that I have high functioning autism which means that I can do everything anyone else can, but I just struggle a little bit?  

Can I do these things:
1.) Buy a house or get an apartment?

2.) Yes, I can do daily chore tasks around the house. It just takes me a little bit to do them because I want to get it perfect. Yeah, I think everyone struggles like that?  

I guess I can't buy a house or get an apartment. I do struggle with doing chores around the house but who doesn't struggle with that?  Everyone struggles with doing housework really?  I really struggle with making friends. I make friends then they decide to dump my ass and that is it. Mom doesn't really want me to talking to friends even the ones I can speak to just be in this house forever! Well I can go out to Walmart, or Kroger or anywhere else and speak there but that's it but I would just have to speak with just family and then be quiet so they could talk about other things that are just stressing them out at work. UGH!  They should never get angry or stressed out at work anyway.  And they really shouldn't bring it home either.  Most of all people should always let that shit go!!!  Hey, I'll let that shit go if Karin and Lisa let that shit go!!! ugh!!!  I am really tired of them bitching about their work problems to mom.  They should just leave that shit at work!  I try not listen but it makes me anxious and stresses me out! 

I can go for walks with Nicki but I can't really talk to strangers. Strangers are a "no, no".  I remember that one time at the apartment I lived at with my parents when me and my sister were younger. Me and my childhood friend saw a car pull in the driveway at Longfellow apartments.  We just learned about strangers and we thought that those people in that car were coming to get us.  We were scared so we ran as fast as we could in our apartments that we were living in.  

I also don't tell the whole story.  I leave out parts of the story because I forget parts of the story.  So shoot me.  Everyone forgets things big damn deal!!! Get over yourself!!!!!!!!!!! UGH!  

I am better off alone if someone is going to judge me and make fun of me and leave me lonely!  Just forget it!  I will just stay in this house forever and not go anywhere but shopping.  Maybe I shouldn't be having any best friends for now since they will just give up on me or leave me.  :'(  

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Sunday August 25, 2024 | My dream on Saturday night August 24 | Hypnosis for selective mutism

-
I had a dream that I was in the hospital in Galveston Texas like the one I was in when I was 10 years old.  Working on getting rid of SM through hypnosis.  Is there a good hynosis therapist in Beaumont Texas who specializes in selective mutism?   I am determined to overcome selective mutism now or at least most of the way.  Some idiot told me that I won't be able to overcome SM entirely.  Ugh!  Or will I be able to overcome SM entirely?  
Read more

Wednesday August 28, 2024 | Do parent's say this to their kids who have a disability? (the highlighted words in this blog)

-
Got this from copilot from the question I asked, " would people pleasing be an example of "you don't want to disappoint mom do you"? "   Is this true?   Sorry I had a flash back of my dad saying that question phrase that is highlighted in yellow.    (A phrase that my dad said to me when I was 3 and 4 years.)  Ah, the delicate dance between parental expectations and a child’s desire to please! 🕺🌼 Let’s waltz through this topic, shall we? “You don’t want to disappoint mom, do you?” —a phrase that can carry both love and a subtle weight. It’s like a mini emotional tug-of-war, with the child caught in the middle, clutching their teddy bear and pondering life’s mysteries.   Here’s the scoop: The Mom Guilt Tango : Parents often mean well when they say this. They want their child to succeed, be kind, and make them proud. It’s like they’re handing the child a bouquet of expectations, hoping they’ll bloom into the perfect little sunflower....
Read more

Friday February 7, 2025 | Anxiety Disorders and Diabetes

-
I knew this when I was 5 and no one had to tell me this. So is this really true? But because I have selective mutism, my learning challenging and people think that I am stupid. It is that communication thing that people think that I'm stupid. I know the highlighted and BIG LETTERS SOUNDS unreasonable, I just want to get across to people that I am anxious all the time! Do I have to start cursing for you people to hear me? I will. I know that BIG MOTHER OF ALL CURSE WORDS. I bet no one knew that did they? Actually, I got it from those kids at the hospital in Galveston when I was in the hospital back in 1984. So I knew about that word when I was about 9 or 10 years old. Actually when I was 4 years old I felt like I didn't belong because I was trying to tell myself how or where I got my selective mutism and I felt that way for a long time. Maybe my dad has ADHD? Perhaps my parents have ADHD and it somehow turns into autism in children? High-functioning Autism. I th...
Read more