Wednesday September 15, 2021 | Three good things I am grateful for

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I could not think of anything. This is too hard to find three good things that I am grateful for when I am depressed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't or I'm struggling with telling my feelings!  

Well my friend stopped by tonight and she brought me crying and depression.  Also feelings of not being good enough and not being able to do anything since I am mentally three years old!  :'(   Why can't I at least do one thing by myself every day.  Please give me one challenge if it is okay with my parents?  Oh god dammit!!!!  I feel like I'm three years old!!!  :'(  (yes, I misspelled dammit on purpose. I like that spelling then the other way)  

Found this on:
Lifestyle changes
Making simple changes can go a long way toward reducing the symptoms of anxiety. Examples include:

practicing deep breathing techniques or progressive muscle relaxation
meditating
exercising regularly
getting enough sleep
eating a healthful diet and limiting caffeine intake
avoiding alcohol, tobacco, and recreational drugs
reducing stressors at home, work, and school, where possible
facing up to problems rather than avoiding them (i guess i was taught not to face my problems? yes, or no?)
replacing negative thoughts with more positive or realistic ones

This is going to be harder than I thought it was going to be. ugh!  I was not prepared for this at all when I got the Selective Mutism bug!  :'(   So what do I do?  Ignore all this and be miserable living with my sister and aunt?  or Have no one ever to talk to me again and be an asshole the rest of my life?  I guess the choice is very simple?   Easy!  I will refuse to live with my sister or aunt!!!  :'(  My sister will push me to live with her when mom and dad go.  I am literally afraid of my future!!!  I probably will never get to face this head on! I will probably be taught to just run from my problems and run from people because mom thinks that I will get hurt.  I don't know what she thinks.  I'm afraid that I will get rejected again.  :(  

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