Sunday September 5, 2021 | The Hardest Thing I ever had to do

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This may be the hardest thing I have ever had to do but I'm tired of Jason's mouth. Just fair warning I have alot of negative thoughts going through my head right now starting with:   Jason says that I'm negative and that Jason is the most positive person out there.   Jason is the biggest liar I ever knew!  I'm the luckiest woman in the world that he is not a (what is the word that I'm looking for)  preditor. No! She's wrong!  Jason is wrong!  I want to be more Independent but how do I do that?  I am very high maintenance.  If I didn't have Selective Mutism, I would be normal!  Sometimes I wish that I didn't have Selective Mutism!!!  I feel so helpless!!!!!!!! :'(  I have never been so sure in my life. Like I said I am the luckiest woman in the world up there. Like I said, I wish that I never got hit with the Selective Mutism bug!  Now I have Selective Mutism forever and I need people to take care of me forever!!! My sister will be next in taking care of me and then my niece and nephew. :'(   I do not want to live with my sister nor don't ever want to live with my niece and nephew!!!  
I have too many fears to even think about myself first.  I have to think about other people ahead of myself.  But, but, but  I think I love him. He likes me but how much? What is he willing to do for me? Is it legal? I'm sorry I didn't mean to say that. :'(    I know what mom is saying "you don't know him".  Yeah.  
I'm tired of sneaking around and hiding.  He did not say that he was whisking me away.  Jason is also lying about that.  I have a job to do and that is to help my sister take care of mom and dad.   

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