Thursday August 26, 2021 | Sleeping good

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I have been sleeping really good since Jason has been gone to his mother's house.  He is going on a Cruise the week of August 29th.  Of course I did dream about Emanuel again, the ex-boyfriend-the high school sweetheart. I really loved him so much but I was hurt when he cheated on me with another girl and even got her pregnant. I did not ever want to be hurt like that ever again.  

I will write more later as I think of something else, please just give me time.  Please be patient.     

To be honest I love AJ to de...dea....  I really don't like to say that word as it scared the sh*t out of me.  So I'll just say I love him to pieces!  I want to see AJ just try to take me away from Jason.  I want him to.  

Here is a song I feel at the moment and will try to do.  

I'm about to tell I how I'm feeling......  but I can only describe how I feel through a song.  Here is how I feel about him. The words just won't come out and if the words do come out, It does not sound right and I....  I am not letting him get away.  I love AJ far too much to let him get away.  :)  

My SM(anxiety) is telling me that this is so wrong. but I love him anyway. Is this wrong?  

My mind is going all over the place!!!!!  If it wasn't raining right now, I would go for a long walk with my  baby girl Jordan.  

Then this SM(anxiety) is telling me that Jason is talking to his mother about me and she is telling him to leave my ass! yeah, That anxiety is whipping my ass right now. :'(  I wouldn't be too surprised if he came back and tried to end things. It would be a badn (jason called in the midst of that sentence)   Well that takes care of that anxiety of leaving my ass.  

I would rather meditate, taking a walk with my dog, yoga psh.......I got too fat for yoga!   

I just got word that my sister has covid but that is all I know.  


After all that I said about AJ in this blog, I am starting to love him more and more.   Other people and Jason will try to change my mind and say what Charlene(hairdresser) tried to tell me.  I am thinking seriously about dumping Jason's ass. Now how is that for slightly overcoming Selective Mutism!    

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