Friday August 27, 2021 | I don't know of a title to write here

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My body has been feeling weird for about the past two weeks?  I have been feeling shaky and feeling good.  I can't describe it.  I really love talking to AJ. He makes or allows me to be myself.  I don't know I can't find the right words for what I'm trying to say.  I would like to talk about this.  If I could I would totally date AJ.  He makes me feel comfortable, loved and he lets or allows me to feel good about myself.  I just love him for who he is.  He is honest just like me.  Is it okay if I meet him if someone who I can talk to freely is right there with me?  No, not my mom but someone else.    

Need some advice from my relatives if they aren't afraid of my anxiety/panic attacks at the moment.  Like I said above, I love talking to him and he makes me feel so comfortable.  :)    I am willing to take that risk.  I don't judge a book by its cover and I NEVER, NEVER EVER judge people by their past. I just listen and try to understand.  He told me that since he's met me, it changed him. Am I correct?  That is my problem I always have to ask people if I'm correct or getting the correct information. I am wondering if that is part of being codependent or not?   

Well, it seems like I have a lot more questions.  I just can't get them all together or arrange them a certain so they sound okay.  

On Thursday late night at about 10pm Me, AJ, Jason, and his mother were all on video chat.  I was so anxious and so was AJ.  I kept trying to calm him down.  I think it worked though but not 100% percent sure.  Jason kept mentioning that AJ is a criminal and I swear to god I wanted to reach through that computer screen's laptop and strangulate Jason!!!   I swear to god that my life sounding more and more like the stories that I used to write.  I'm going to paste it in google docs and put the link in this blog. Here is the link to the story.  It was my first story that I wrote in this series called Pamela's New Life.  https://docs.google.com/document/d/1kVRSpfZpCvtGSozT458cMKwEZUNDaV07suOVFqWr6_I/edit?usp=sharing

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