Tuesday January 12, 2021 | Me and Selective Mutism

This little voice inside me from Selective Mutism is starting to sound like other people. The little voice is telling me not to do something because it costs money and that people will take advantage of me and take my money and run. Just like when I have an idea of wanting to get a Selective Mutism Supported living Group. For people with Selective Mutism and independent living. Just because people doesn't like the idea, I have to drop it! 😭 I have this anxiety in me that it just won't work out because of that stupid place Seville apartments. Just because someone tried force Sex on me over there, I had to move! He was over the age of 60 or 80. ewww gross. I could not scream or do anything at the time. I was frozen in that moment but whatever. 😭

Actually, Jason did spend the night with me not once but twice! And we um.... yeah. And yeah, I liked it!

I just wonder if a supported living group is right for me now in this moment? I will be out of the loop of the information of the family and really can't do anything from the moment I get in the supported living group until the day I die. Will I be able to go back home on the weekends like I did when I was in the hospital in Galveston Texas back in the 1980's?

I really don't wanna do anything when other people say it will not work out. It has not worked out in the past! Why should it work out in the future? 😢 My question is...... Am I ready for that? 😢 Why I bring it up now is because one of my friends who also has Selective Mutism is in a supported living group in her country. I got jealous of her and wanted to be in a supported living group. Do you think that is possible for me to get in a supported living?