Thursday September 17, 2020

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I don't know how to put this but my anxiety medication I think is not working anymore.  :'(  Well whatever.  I don't want to be a burden to her when I say that my anxiety medication is not working.  So I guess I'm a burden to everyone.  :'(  I don't want to be a burden.  

I have received an email from PayPal and it told me that I just paid $10.81 for an app called smule (a singing app).  I would never pay that much for a singing app.  That is kinda expensive.  I would however pay for meditations on insight timer or YouTube. I paid for Insight Timer once. I donated to a meditation teacher on Insight Timer once.   YouTube has a bunch of meditations.  If you pay $10.81 and remove the ads then you don't have to mess around with when you just click skip add.  It gets annoying when you have to stop in the middle of a meditation click (skip ad).   So I pay $10.81 about every 3 or 4 months.  Then it gets annoying again.  :'(      

When the anxiety is through the roof or when I am anxious, I eat the sweet stuff and then I feel guilty that I ate it.  The next morning I go for that run on youtube with Pahla B Fitness.  When I have a rough night like last night, I will feel it in my run.  I will run like crazy and be all sweaty. OMG!     

The anxiety today if I had to rate it from 1 to 10 ten being the worst and 1 being not at all.  I would say that it is about a 10.     That thing with pay pal and that dam singing app really brought that anxiety back up to a 10.  :'(    I did not pay for that.  pay pal said that it was automatic.    

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