Saturday September 5, 2020 mom and dad | nursing home | other stuff

-

Can mom and dad not talk about a nursing home?  It just makes me want to cry every time they talk about going in a nursing home.  I know dad's low back is not good.  When I run, all of my aches and pains go away.  I don't know that math but let's just say I'm 27 years younger than they are.  Joke or not still it's creating anxiety attacks for me.  :'(  

I am going to write more. 

I just learned from my aunt (on my dad's side of the family) that I can never take care of myself! Mom has to care for me.  Why did my aunt say that?  :'(  That truly hurt me so much!  Except I could not say that because of the SM(Anxiety) was in the way.  And I just noticed that my hands were shaking that I just typed this paragraph.  I don't know why I have this thought in my head that I can't take care of myself as no one has said that to me. Maybe Jason said that to me but he's a little um... ??? can't think of the word. Full of shit?  I don't know. But I think he was joking. 

Just so you know, It's no one's fault that I'm the way I am.  I tell myself it is not my fault.  It just happened.






Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Sunday August 25, 2024 | My dream on Saturday night August 24 | Hypnosis for selective mutism

-
I had a dream that I was in the hospital in Galveston Texas like the one I was in when I was 10 years old.  Working on getting rid of SM through hypnosis.  Is there a good hynosis therapist in Beaumont Texas who specializes in selective mutism?   I am determined to overcome selective mutism now or at least most of the way.  Some idiot told me that I won't be able to overcome SM entirely.  Ugh!  Or will I be able to overcome SM entirely?  
Read more

Wednesday August 28, 2024 | Do parent's say this to their kids who have a disability? (the highlighted words in this blog)

-
Got this from copilot from the question I asked, " would people pleasing be an example of "you don't want to disappoint mom do you"? "   Is this true?   Sorry I had a flash back of my dad saying that question phrase that is highlighted in yellow.    (A phrase that my dad said to me when I was 3 and 4 years.)  Ah, the delicate dance between parental expectations and a child’s desire to please! 🕺🌼 Let’s waltz through this topic, shall we? “You don’t want to disappoint mom, do you?” —a phrase that can carry both love and a subtle weight. It’s like a mini emotional tug-of-war, with the child caught in the middle, clutching their teddy bear and pondering life’s mysteries.   Here’s the scoop: The Mom Guilt Tango : Parents often mean well when they say this. They want their child to succeed, be kind, and make them proud. It’s like they’re handing the child a bouquet of expectations, hoping they’ll bloom into the perfect little sunflower....
Read more

Friday February 7, 2025 | Anxiety Disorders and Diabetes

-
I knew this when I was 5 and no one had to tell me this. So is this really true? But because I have selective mutism, my learning challenging and people think that I am stupid. It is that communication thing that people think that I'm stupid. I know the highlighted and BIG LETTERS SOUNDS unreasonable, I just want to get across to people that I am anxious all the time! Do I have to start cursing for you people to hear me? I will. I know that BIG MOTHER OF ALL CURSE WORDS. I bet no one knew that did they? Actually, I got it from those kids at the hospital in Galveston when I was in the hospital back in 1984. So I knew about that word when I was about 9 or 10 years old. Actually when I was 4 years old I felt like I didn't belong because I was trying to tell myself how or where I got my selective mutism and I felt that way for a long time. Maybe my dad has ADHD? Perhaps my parents have ADHD and it somehow turns into autism in children? High-functioning Autism. I th...
Read more