Saturday, September 5, 2020

Saturday September 5, 2020 mom and dad | nursing home | other stuff

Can mom and dad not talk about a nursing home?  It just makes me want to cry every time they talk about going in a nursing home.  I know dad's low back is not good.  When I run, all of my aches and pains go away.  I don't know that math but let's just say I'm 27 years younger than they are.  Joke or not still it's creating anxiety attacks for me.  :'(  

I am going to write more. 

I just learned from my aunt (on my dad's side of the family) that I can never take care of myself! Mom has to care for me.  Why did my aunt say that?  :'(  That truly hurt me so much!  Except I could not say that because of the SM(Anxiety) was in the way.  And I just noticed that my hands were shaking that I just typed this paragraph.  I don't know why I have this thought in my head that I can't take care of myself as no one has said that to me. Maybe Jason said that to me but he's a little um... ??? can't think of the word. Full of shit?  I don't know. But I think he was joking. 

Just so you know, It's no one's fault that I'm the way I am.  I tell myself it is not my fault.  It just happened.






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