anxiety attack

Would a death in the family cause an anxiety attack? I think I had an anxiety attack on Dec. 20, 2012. I came back to my apartment after shopping with my mom and sister and after we came back from the hospital and I cried and cried. So I had already got my cry out and my anxiety attack out of course people thought I was having a fit or a temper tantrum.  Because think about it, my grandma was in the hospital on dec 20, 2012 and was a sad day.  I was really really anxious and sad and depressed.   Yup!  I definitely had an anxiety attack in 2012 on Dec 20th.  As I entered my apartment, I immediately cried.  I was not throwing stuff around.  I was just sad.  And hurt again that someone would blame me for hurting my dog. I would not hurt my dog.  I love my dog to pieces.  :)  She helps me with my anxiety/panic attacks.  I love Jordan. She is so sweet.   

Why do you want to run/walk or even race?  I want to do this for me.  Why do you want to do this for you?  I want to do it for me because.    What do you want?  What do I want?  I'll have to ask my mother since she has thought what I wanted to do before.  I mean she seems to know what I want to do or somewhat?  I want to be able to learn to dance, learn to drive, run 2 miles, run a 5K, act in a play to spread awareness of Selective Mutism.  I want to do all those things before I die.  I guess that is my new bucket list. I have my old bucket list I wrote down back in 2014.  I will drop the link below as I find it.  It is on my old blogger.  Here is my old bucket list. https://unpretty125.blogspot.com/2014/05/bucket-list.html

I have a question.  Would I be good at running a two-mile run or a 5K?  Where am I getting this stuff? Jason?  No!  Jason tells me no such thing.  I don't think he is smart enough to tell me or suggest that I go run a 5K.  Guess where I have been hearing this sh*t!  Youtuber Pahla B Fitness!  Are they a good speaker?  Have you heard their podcasts on YouTube, Google, or whatever it is that they do their podcasts on?  So who is the best speaker?  I know none of these people on YouTube are doctors, psychologists of wherever else there is.  I know better than that!!!!!  I will not take in any information that they say.  They are just YouTubers.  They are just a lifestyle and fitness coach.  I just do a couple of their exercises and that's it.  If they are bad speakers, I won't listen anymore. Have you ever heard of Pahla B Fitness on YouTube?  She is a fitness coach on YouTube.  

I have another question.  What does anxiety feel like?  Does anxiety feel like when you feel shaky and can't stop? Or cry for about an hour and still can't stop crying?    That is exactly what I felt like at 3am this morning.  It woke me up from sleep.  Well, I also had to pee but that is beside the point.