My Blog

I still believe that I have Asperger's.  I have quite a few of the symptoms.  But just because you have the symptoms, doesn't mean that you automatically have Asperger's.  I know.  but same goes for Tourette Syndrome or any other diseases or disorders.  And it not even tourettes. My doctor said that I do have tourette-like symptoms called tourettism. 

What are you afraid of... and why? Fear of public speaking asserting yourself making decisions intimacy being alone being with people aging driving following your dream losing a loved one ending a relationship I believe that something like this happened with me and I was like 3 or 4 years old. (i think)  I know that my parents will never remember that me doing this at 3 or 4 but I poked out that middle finger at someone and got my very first punishment.(i think)  This may be my imagination but I wonder if I became scared of everything when I was about 3 year old.  I am not blaming my parents but I'm thinking I was around ages 3 to about 5 years old when picking up this fear of strangers and that people could really hurt me really badly or could take advantage of someone like me.  Apparently, I was listening to every word everyone said.   Somehow I feel the need to speak only when I have to say something.  Just hear me out.  There is this individua...

When I see lor hear these words, I think of ice cream and portion sizes are my weaknesses.  Well the only strengths I have are typing skills and writing skills.  Oh I thought of one off the of my head is Fast Learner and creative.  If you can think of a different example, then go for it!   But that was my interprentation of it!

Is shortness of breath a symptom of anxiety or is it a symptom of a lot of things including high blood pressure? A few days ago I ran out of blood pressure medicine and I am trying to do breathing exercises to bring it down.  This is what I wrote for a journal prompt today.   Let's talk Future (journal prompt) Let's see.  I already wasted away my 20's, 30's, 40's and now it's the first part of my 50's.  I say NO WAY!  Not this time!  I want to sell my jewelry but my mom doesn't want the hassel from it.  Maybe she is just thinking about SS check.  No, I will not lose that check, that check will be there.  Plus I have this money that I got in a settlement.  It's a good thing that I can't get to it.  

On Saturday I had a little fall in the shower accident. It felt like I was in the accident all over again. I was having flash backs of that day of the accident in the van.  All I saw was this BIG yellow moving truck coming towards us and the next thing I knew I was or me my mom and dad were piled on top of one another. That whole accident was scary.  I cried as I was crawling out of the winsheild of the van. I wanted to beat that guy up that hit us and I would too! Well I got a settlement out of it!    I tried to be cool and swing around the shower door and grab my towel and........... I went down.  I tried to stay calm.  At the same time I was running out of blood pressure medication.  Ugh!  Here is what I did. I had 1 pill and a half left.  I switched Saturday's with Sunday's and I took hydroxzine too I knew I was going shopping on Sunday with Jason.   It hurts to fart. It hurts to burp. It hurts to hiccup. It hurts to stretch and...